Saying goodbye to AGI

For the past year and a half I had the great joy to work at Avon Grove Intermediate School teaching strings and general music. I was welcomed in by the teachers and staff and developed really special relationships with many of my 200 string students. (Yes I really do love all of them a whole lot). 

2 weeks ago, with the help of my principal, we told my students that I was leaving. I definitely cried (no surprise there). As hard as it was, it was also so freeing. I finally could talk about going, instead of knowing about my upcoming departure and not being able to talk about it with the kids. 

This week was really tough. I only had 3 days left, but there was so much I wanted to do in my time left and just not enough hours in the day. I was struggling with still being in 2 worlds: school and Kenya preparations, torn between both. 

Yesterday I said my goodbyes. In the morning I was blessed by so many of my students coming with heartfelt gifts and hugs that meant the world to me. Fellow teachers and staff, who have supported me in so many ways, also shared their parting wishes and prayers. I was overwhelmed with the tremendous blessing of my time at AGI. I really couldn't have asked for a better last day. 

And now I'm finished. It's Friday, but didn't get out of bed until 8:15 (normally I'm up at 6). Our work permits just came through. All of our clothes and dishes are packed. We leave for training on Sunday. One chapter closed, another one just beginning.

Snow!

Our apartment has now taken on a box to chair ratio of 6:1. It is t-4 days before we move out of West Chester and officially begin training for Kenya. It's hard to describe all the feelings and emotions that go along with this transition, but I'll try and walk you through some of them.

1. Lots to do: as compared to some times in my life where my life revolved around an 8-5 workday, I am now free to do as I please. However, this opens the possibility to do many different things that can be overwhelming right now. For example, I am currently trying to rip a dvd that my computer doesn't recognize, find a lockable gas cap for a Suzuki motorcycle only made in New Zealand, create a photo album of Steph and my first 18 months of marriage, and organize a party for us in West Chester. It has been such a good idea to not be working, but my mind sometimes goes to hyper-mode with such an endless list of random things to do.

2. Support Steph: A major emotion for me is trying to know how to care for my wife. I don't always know what she's thinking (unbelievably enough) and its hard to see the stress of change wear on her.

3. Isolated: Entering into a new stage of life always brings some challenges in experiencing things your friends/support system aren't going through. Generally, they can relate from past experiences i.e. marriage, death, new job, school etc... But for leaving the country as a missionary couple, we don't have many close to us who can relate. It is much harder to connect with people right now.

4. Excited/Scared: This one is kinda like a pinball machine, the flashing emotions seem to go off without any rhyme or reason. Often, while lying in bed, I'll think to myself, "whoa, I'm going to be in Kenya next month and that's scary!" Sometimes during the day, I daydream about getting off the plane and finally doing what we've been planning for months.

5. Sad: Saying things like "we may not see you ever again" is always weird, and we go through that during various life transitions. My dad just resigned as pastor of his church, and he taught on how change brings both hope for the future and sadness. He taught the children's lesson and had them wave goodbye to him (a very touching/cute moment)

6. Tired: While I'd hate to have 5 hours each day with nothing to do but entertain myself, having a life-goal (read: being a follower of Jesus) can be tiring stuff. I rarely related to the "I need you every hour" aspect of Christianity, but that has made more sense to me lately. More days begin with a feeling of emptiness, which had drawn me closer to God on a minute by minute basis.

7. Ready: I am so ready for Kenya. I am so ready to follow God in a radical way. I'm so ready to feel like I'm doing something with my talents. I'm so ready for the joy of obedience.

Monday we played in the snow, it may be the last time in awhile.

God at Work

God is good.  Today, I have seen God working in my present and in my past in very tangible ways.  I have seen a friend's marriage and identity go from darkness and hopelessness, to joy and new hope.  After much time in prayer and hoping to see God enter into this situation, God has turned everything around.  It makes me want to dance and shout and tell people that God is real, and He is changing people's lives today.  

I have been helping out at a halfway house, trying to help one guy find some purpose and activity in his life.  Recently I have wondered whether my time was worthwhile as he will soon be leaving the house and I'll soon be in Kenya.  Today, my friend wasn't in and I felt like I just walked 30 minutes for no reason.  But then as I walked back to the apartment, I saw a man I had talked to once or twice on the streets before.  I nodded a smile towards him and kept walking.  I stopped quickly when he suddenly asked, "how were your holidays?"  I never expected this man to remember me, much less care about my holidays.  But, God was at work 2 months ago when I randomly sat with him and shared a clementine.   He had been through some tough times but was seeing God work through his forgiveness of a relative and continued provision.  Even when our obedience feels worthless, God often is doing something bigger than we could have hoped for or imagined.

Lastly, on Friday a Bible study I am part of was having a prayer time for Steph and me.  I had invited a friend from work to come and hang out beforehand, and he had asked to come along to the Bible study.  At the prayer time, this friend spoke about how He had seen God work through me and how much he respected me as a colleague and man.  Sometimes, its hard to tell whether our actions have any impact on those around us.  Do people notice that we don't bad-mouth people behind their back?  Do people notice that we try to serve others at work, doing small thing to show we respect them?  As our pastor recently preached, does our life have the fragrance of the Kingdom of Heaven?  Hearing how this friend had noticed all these things and how he saw God in these things was pretty much awesome (even if his car was towed from our lot that night!)

God is alive and active.  Start looking, He may be even closer than you think.

41 days

Countdown

The day is approaching when Steph and I will be living  in Kenya.  It is hard to believe that in two months we'll be living in Nairobi, a world away from West Chester.  I could say that much needs to be done, but being unemployed has really helped me have time to tackle each task as it comes.  We are not overwhelmed,  we are ready to step into obedience.  

Life is different when you don't have a job.  Over the past two months I have been trying to respond to a desire to develop relationships with the other side of our town.  It is easy to believe that the world around us runs with ease.  Problems of income, addiction, desperation, daily bread are for those others, for people we'll never meet.  Instead, I have been looking each day to see those who are struggling each day to survive, who view faith and God from a very different perspective.

Beyond simply viewing those in need, it is so awesome to interact and bring the Kingdom of God to others.  Praying for a women who is shaken by a doctor's appointment, asking for hope when your friend can't see any, looking to give your time and love and money to all who are in need; these things are what make my days rich and full.  

It has been good to get rid of our things.  The process of packing has allowed us an opportunity to let go of our possessions.  Bags of clothes, loads of furniture, boxes of the stuff that easily accumulates.  I feel lean and ready, ready to live and know contentment.  Right now I can say we have enough and to have more might not be a good thing.  It is so good to be content, to be free to do whatever it is God asks.

46 days.